Posted on Sep 21, 2022

What is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse occurs when the abuser uses financial means such as withholding child support or spousal support payments to keep their “other” under their control. It is a form of coercion and control. It often occurs when the survivor is dependent on the abuser for support.

How often does it occur?

Research indicates that financial abuse occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases. The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that since 2016, financial abuse as a condition of a contact’s experience has grown 13% annually. Financial abuse like all domestic abuse occurs across all socio-economic, educational, and racial and ethnic groups.

It begins as “love” but becomes “abuse”

Financial abuse can begin subtly as a partner’s showing of “care and concern” but progresses over time to an exercise of “power and control” by the lover. The “lover” suggests they control the finances because after all, they work in finance and earn more than their partner. When they are told of a troublesome colleague at work or a difficult boss, the “lover” asks their partner to leave “this terrible job” and claims that they can “support them both” and it will give them “more time together.” The lover offers their partner weekly money, an allowance, to cover their needs. Trust often leads into the financially controlling situation in which the “lover” becomes an “abuser” questioning every expense and the partner is their “victim” subjected to their control and questioning of expert expense. The abuser decreases the allowance over time unless the victim complies with his demands.

KL was financially dependent on her husband. He convinced her to quit her job as a fashion consultant for high roller men so they would have “more time together”. He didn’t open a joint bank account. She was never given a credit card of her own and was not added to his credit card. She had no access to cash or credit. If she needed to purchase something, she had to ask her husband for his credit card to make the purchase. His credit card was on her UBER account – so he could track when she used the UBER account. He had to approve every purchase she made (including groceries). If she wanted to buy a dress, she had to call him from the store, photo herself in the dress and if he liked it on her, he would directly pay for the dress over the phone. If she had sex with him, he left her cash on the table.

PC’s husband used payment of money he owed her as leverage for more visitation time with their children. He convinced her to sign an agreement in which she waived her rights to any interests in businesses established during their marriage before she knew what those businesses were actually worth.

Original article: Financial Abuse Is Domestic Violence